Dear You,
I was writing a blog, already 3 paragraphs, when I made the decision to press shift ctrl home then hit del. Pouf all gone... It was a beautiful writing, but then, just before I made those paragraph disappear, I typed "my sanctuary..."
Like a whirlpool my mind, my memory and my brain took me to a hypno-therapy session I had with a new acquaintance. I was in a house. Semi modern with minimalist furniture. The sofa I laid on was leather cold, yet the pillow where my head rested was comfy. I didn't know what to do. All I was said to do is relax and let my mind wonder. Hey I don't need a therapist to do that... my teachers at school were expert in making me do that... hehehe.
But then he started counting and slowly put little instructions in his deep voice. I concentrated more on his voice than on the hum on the air conditioner up my head. I began to follow him and I found myself in another place. Dark, yet familiar. He asked me few questions then suddenly my brain took over, and I lost my concentration. Man, being hard headed as I am, it is very difficult to take instructions from someone I barely knew. He knew it and smiled very patiently.
Then, new technique: he told me that I had too much burden on my chest and needed to let go. Yeah rite, as if that would be an easy task, but ok, let's give it a try...
He began: Imagine you burden from a scale of 1 to 10 ... 6 I said... ok, make it 7... then 8... then 9... hheeeaavvyyy... then 10... hhhh hhhhfff hhhhffffyy now make it 11.... hhhh hhhh hhhh I must have looked like a weight lifter, cuz let me tell u, my friend, it felt suffocatingly heavy... I couldnt breath... I'm telling u, this is totally true... In my heart I begged for his voice... then as if answering my plea he said: make it 10, make it 9, make it 8, make it 7 aaahhh aaahhh, breath again, make it 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Thank you God, I'm breathing again. And amazingly, my chest felt much lighter...
I dared to open my eyes and met his concerned eyes. You've got so much burden, little one, he said softly. I nodded, closed my eyes again and followed his instructions with new open mind and heart. My tears were rolling down my cheeks for several occasions. Sometimes sobs grew heavier, sometimes panic attacked revengefully, my body shook hard, anger filled my lungs and throat, but he guided me, he held my hands... he told me where to go... then I found it... my sanctuary...
It was a green meadow looking down a small village. The grass was high, blown softly by a twilight wind. There was an old bench under a willow tree. He told me to sit there and take as much time as I want. To do whatever I want. So I did. I sat there, hugging my legs... letting the wind playing with my hair. I closed my eyes, my nose was smelling the sweet scent of wet grass, all the while I was hearing the soft moan of the wind, like a lover gently whispering in your ear... aaah my sanctuary... this is where you are... I was hungry for that feeling and let it take over my body. I opened my eyes and looked down at the village crowned by the sunset. It was exquisitely beautiful... beyond words... so I recorded it in my brain where it would be ready for me to remember it again.
Are you ready to go, he said. I nodded, got up the bench and followed him again. I looked back at my sanctuary, my peaceful place.
I was later told, when I was awake and conscious, that that place was a piece of my heart where I would find peace. Every time I need comfort, peace and consolation, every time someone hurt my heart and feeling, I should close my eyes and head back there... you will never get lost finding this place, he told me again... my sanctuary... And you know what? I have been there, several times... to find peace and comfort from the soft wind that lingered between the sweet wet grass and between the branches of the ever loyal willow tree. Like a true love awaiting his betrothed, ready to cherish you with gentle words, sweet strokes and soft kisses.
Till next time, Sanctuary...
Ndy
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